Itâs so hard to say ânoâ.
Why?
It makes us feel selfish, guilty, embarrassed even. We donât want to upset people. We donât want them to think badly of us. Sometimes itâs simply easier to say âyes,â than to deal with our angst or other peopleâs reactions. But what is this behavior costing us?
When we give a âyesâ when there ought to be a ânoâ, we give away a little piece of ourselves. We relinquish our power, our control and disrespect our needs by making them less important than the needs of others. We disrespect our needs or wants by making choices that donât support us. We justify it; itâs just this one time, itâs for a good cause, it wonât take too long, itâs not that big a deal. It is a 8;ig deal. Every time you do this, you are making a choice to ignore what your heart, your mind, or your gut is telling you.
- The Stress Factor. Saying âyesâ when you really want to say ânoâ is a major stressor for your mind and body. It causes anxiety, tension, aches and pains, often causes us to lose sleep as well. Itâs unquestionably not the lone cause of stress, but it might be among the easiest to control.
- Get Rid of Toxic People. You donât really want these people in your life anyway, do you? These are advantage takers, the leechers, the complainers, the gossip-mongers, the responsibility-duckers. They are master manipulators who use guilt and manipulation to pressure you into a âyes.â If you consistently give a firm ânoâ theyâll eventually go away and find some other, weaker target.
- Save Time. We only have so many hours in the day. We canât do anything about that, but we can control how we use that time. Donât let others determine your to-do list or set your set agenda. You are giving away your precious time! Itâs important to use your time in the way that honors your priorities, helps y ou reach your goals and serves your needs. You decide whatâs worth your time and whatâs not.
- More Energy. Taking on things that you donât want to do or donât have time for, wastes valuable energy that you could be spending on those things you do care about. Pour that energy into doing a better job on those activities that you really must do or choose to do. More energy helps you feel better, be happier, and have greater productivity.
- Increase Focus. Say âyesâ to people and things that are relevant to your goals. Say ânoâ to those things take you away from your goals and make you lose your focus. Focus on those things that help you learn and grow both personally and professionally, things that spark your interests or speak to you in some way.  Whenever itâs possible, say ânoâ & #116;o everything else.
- Gain Strength. Every time you say ânoâ to others, youâre saying âyesâ to yourself. Youâre taking back control of your life by not allowing others to make decisions for you. You gain confidence when you stand firm and honor your boundaries. Surprisingly you also gain the respect. When youâre clear and firm about you will and wonât do, people actually respect you more. They may be unhappy with you, but theyâll respect you. Â
- Enjoy Life More. Life is so much more enjoyable when you begin to say âNoâ to things that drain you. The same is true in your work life. If you make an effort to try to limit your time and effort to work activities that enjoy or that you actually are responsible for, youâll find that work is much more fun.
It gets easier to give the âno,â the more often you do. Itâll probably be uncomfortable for a while. We squirm at the thought of disappointing others, even when weâre letting ourselves down in the process. Your needs, your time, your goals, and whatâs important in your life have to be your decision-making guides. It just takes some getting used to.
Repeat after me: âNO.â You can do it!
Featured photo credit: Serious pretty woman making stop hand sign via Shutterstock
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