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Does worry dominate your life?
Try these ten shortcuts to stop worrying for good.
1. Stop being superstitious that your worry is preventing bad things from happening.
Even if itâs somewhat unconscious, worriers sometimes believe that if they worry about something enough, it wonât happen.
There. Now that youâve seen that in print, doesnât it seem kind of silly?
The problem is, your superstition gets reinforced because most of the things that you worry about likely donât happen.
But itâs not because youâre worrying about them â" itâs just as likely that bad things wouldnât happen even if you didnât worry about them!
2. Choose to be motivated by something other than worry.
Another common belief about worry is that it is what motivates you to get things done.
Thereâs actually some truth to this.
You do get things done by worrying. Itâs because you want to stop the pain of worrying so you hustle to get that task done.
However, there are so many positive ways to motivate yourself, why use something painful?
Try rewarding yourself when you get something done. Rather than removing a painful stimulus, give yourself something nice: candy, a walk, ten minutes to play Angry Birds, etc.
(And donât tell me that worry is the only thing that motivates you until youâve tried five positive methods first.)
3. Realize that worrying does not help you solve a problem.
While it seems like thinking about a problem over and over will help you solve a problem, it actually wonât.
For the most part.
The common question worriers ask, âWhat if . . .?â actually starts the problem-solving process, but then nothing further happens.
Check this out from researcher T.D. Borovec: âBeyond this [asking âwhat if?â], worry itself does not contribute further to solving problems. One is either worrying, or one is problem solving. These two distinctive processes may alternate sequentially during a worrisome episode but never occur, by definition, at the same time.â
So, you canât worry and problem-solve at the same time.
And worry begets anxiety which throws your body into fight-or-flight mode, not exactly conducive to problem-solving.
If you really want to be at your best to problem-solve, see #9 below.
4. Face your fear directly rather than worrying about it.
Research has found that worriers, unlike people who donât worry, donât have as much ability to learn from being exposed to the thing they fear.
For example, most people who fear public speaking will eventually find that itâs not as bad as they thought it was once theyâve done it a few times.
Worriers donât do this. Scientists believe itâs because worriers donât allow the whole emotional impact to arise for them and so they canât add âcorrective informationâ that allows their fear to subside.
In short, you might be suppressing your fears through your worry.
Try to experience the things you worry about fully. Repeat the old mantra, âFeel the fear and do it anyway.â
5. Believe that you are actually more prepared for something bad happening now than you ever will be by worrying about it.
Because a lot of people think that worry will prepare them for when something bad does happen, remember what we learned above: worrying doesnât help you solve a problem.
People are naturally resilient and that includes you. If something bad happens, youâll likely be able to handle it without all the worrying youâre doing now.
6. Ask yourself âWhatâs the worst thing that can happen?â
The absolute bottom line to your worry is that whatever it is you fear is going to kill you.
It wonât.
The worst things that can happen might be bad, but they wonât kill you.
And you know what? As weâve already discussed, youâre more prepared for the worst thing happening than you give yourself credit for.
And, most likely, when you are truthful with yourself about the worst thing that can happen, it really wonât be that bad after all.
7. Prove to yourself that most of the things you worry about never happen.
Keep whatâs known as a âWorry Outcome Diary.â
On a daily basis, write down what you are worrying about. At the end of the week, note whether the thing you worried about actually happened or not.
Youâll find that the vast majority of worrisome things never happen.
So why expend your mental and physical energy on them?
8. Try out Worry Wednesday.
A great technique for worriers is to set aside a specific time to worry. Maybe itâs thirty minutes a day or maybe itâs a whole day â" Worry Wednesday or something.
During your specified time, worry as much as you can.
Outside of that time, enjoy your life!
9. Teach your muscles how to relax on cue.
Itâs really, really hard to worry when your body is completely relaxed.
Just like your muscles tense up when you worry, your mind will relax when your muscles do.
Teach your body what it feels like to be relaxed by doing a short daily exercise like this.
The more you practice, the more youâll be able to relax on cue. That way, when you start to worry, you can hit the relaxation cue and let your worries float away.
10. Spend your time here now instead of in the future.
Probably most of your worries are about the future and include that question, âWhat if . . .?â
Of course, if your mind is always in the future, youâre pretty much missing out on whatâs happening right now.
And right now is where your life is happening. Donât miss it.
Use some grounding techniques with your senses to stay in the present.
Feel the surface in front of you. Is it cold? Rough? Smooth?
What do you smell in the air right now? What do you hear?
Focus on these sensations to stay in this moment which is your life rather than out in an unknown future.
Reference: Borkovec, T.D., Hazlett-Stevens, H., & Diaz, M.L. (1999). The Role of Positive Beliefs about Worry in Generalized Anxiety Disorder ad its Treatment. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 6, 126-138.
Featured photo credit: Â young businessman with his head squeezed between a laptop keyboard and a rock via Shutterstock
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